THE ORGANIZATION

“We are extremely pleased to welcome you into this organization. We take this opportunity to both apprise you of your duties to the organization and also to tell you of the duties that the organization realizes that it has towards you. We also ……..”

The speaker continued as all of us listened in rapt attention. That was the director of the organization speaking to us on our first day at the office. I was particularly attentive and was craning forwards in my seat. I did not want to miss a single word of what he was saying. And the speaker was doing a great job of holding my attention. He was experienced – he had worked in the organization for just slightly under a billion years now – so I figured if anyone could talk with any authority and conviction about the organization I was going to work for , it was this guy. And he was a very good orator. And ofcourse it helped that he was peppering his speech with a lot of suggestively lewd jokes.

“ So rememeber guys and pretty girls …” , the director concluded , “the organization is like your family. It will nurture you, protect you and be with you in your times of need, but you also need to realize your duties towards the family. Then it will be one big happy family, growing bigger and happier because of the likes of you…”

The hall came down in thundering applause.
“Wow”, I thought, “what other fitting description of the organization than this. In fact I am sure the organization is actually a family.”

I was convinced actually because it was rumored that only the director of the organization and a select lucky few regularly conferred with the organization in a very secret corner room at the top of a very tall ivory tower situated on an unknown and normally inaccessible island on an otherwise uninhabited planet beyond the outer reaches of the Andromeda galaxy.

“I want to be among that lucky few one day”, I resolved to myself. So what if it had taken the director of the organization a billion years to do that . What with the attrition nowadays it might actually come down to three quarters of a billion years for me.

(Sorry I forgot to tell you that we are a very long lived race. Similar to the human beings in every respect but very long lived. That makes our lives fractionally more interesting. Ten raised to the power of negative 25 to be exact)

Thus started my stint with the organization. Determined in actions and clear in resolve.

First came the training period. It was stipulated to be upto half a century but in some cases it could be as long as a century. It was rumored that there were a few who had trained for a couple of centuries, but I had never met them, so I decided to treat them like I treated any other rumor - very seriously.
During this period , I attended a strategy session. It was called “Competition and how to ignore it” . I just loved it. Not the least because it was being presided upon by the deputy associate assistant vice director of the organization (four levels below the director). This guy knew what he was talking about. He concluded his talk thus, “ remember pretty guys and girls (did I tell you this guy was gay?). The organization does not tolerate competition. ”

I loved it . “Wow”, I thought, “ I guess the organization is like a warrior. A knight clad in shining black armor , riding a blacker horse , swinging a huge 7 feet sword( the warrior was 14 ft tall) and mercilessly hacking away at anyone who dared to stand in his way”

The more I thought about it , the more appropriate it sounded and the more I wanted to meet this warrior.

My training concluded , I took up my responsibilities. I worked very hard , my only aim in my professional life to be among the lucky few to meet the organization.

Five centuries passed thus.

At around the middle of the sixth century , there was a case of huge number of layoffs in the organization. I was among the lucky ones to be spared.

I attended a meeting after this case of layoffs which was presided by the both the President of Human resources and the president of Non Human resources of our organization. (It was rumored that the latter held far more power in the organization. I believed this , because this guy was rumored to be among the lucky few to meet the organization).

“ Remember pretty guys and pretty girls” , they concluded, (they were bi sexual) , “the organization clearly recognizes what elements to weed out”

“Wow” , I thought , “ the organization is like a gardener after all, carefully and lovingly nurturing the flowers in his garden and hacking of the weeds.”

The more I thought about it, the more it sounded appropriate.

After around 2 million years with the company , I was yet to be promoted. For the first time in my stint with the organization , I felt a little insecure and disappointed. I felt like quitting. But decided to talk to my boss. He succeeded in talking me out of it.

“The organization has it’s own accumulated wisdom and experience to decide what is good for you and what you need. Don’t worry , your time will come.” , he told me.

“wow”, I thought, “ the organization is really like a very wise ,very old man with a flowing white beard and a equally flowing white robes. It will definitely take care of me”

The more I thought about it, the more appropriate it sounded.

Fifty million years later, I had become the associate assistant deputy vice director (thrice removed) of the organization.

I attended another strategy session , which was called “WE ROCK – THEY SUCK”

I was excited. I always wanted to attend these sessions ,but it was possible only now as I attained this level in the organization. It was presided by the director of the organization.

“So remember guys and girls” (he was too old to be anything by then) ,he concluded, “the organization just tramples anyone in it’s path”

“Wow” , I thought , “ the organization really is like a fire breathing dragon. It just swoops in and occupies any territory that it wants , anyone in it’s way would just be turned into a tiny wisp of smoke”

The more I thought about it, the more appropriate it sounded.

Quarter of a billion years later….

I had arrived. I had become the second to second vice director of the organization( once removed). I was to be among the select lucky few to meet the organization. The director had just told me that.

I was thrilled.

I was excited. Finally , the day I had been looking forward to for so many days , was becoming a reality.

This was what I had been living for, this was what I had been working for.

To meet the organization, to confer with it, take it’s blessings and advice.

But most of all , I wanted to see how the organization looked. What it actually was.

I had imagined it to be so many things , in so many different forms and doing so many different things.

But what was it in reality? Was it one of these things , none of these things , or all of these things or did it simply changed form according to the situation? If it was the last was it really possible for the organization to be in so many forms in so many different situations.

These were the questions that were plaguing my mind. And I kept asking my director about it. He just smiled and said , “you will see for yourself”
Finally, the big day.

We traveled to the end of the Andromeda galaxy , reached the island and went up to the top of the ivory tower. I was beside myself with excitement and tension.

There was the final door. Beyond it was the organization. One more step and there was it.

I was very nervous as the door was being opened.

The door opened and there was it was . The organization!!!!! Right in the middle of the room.

The director immediately fell to his knees on seeing it. So did all the others.
As I also tried to kneel, I felt a very sharp pain in my left hand , which very swiftly traveled to my heart.
I was falling down clutching my heart. I was dying of cardiac arrest. I guess the shock was too much for me.
As my eyes were closing, in my final moment, I heard the squeak of the mouse in the center of the room.

THE EVENING

She looked up and smiled at him coyly. He looked down upon her lovingly. She snuggled closer to him. He leant forward and lightly brushed her cheeks with his lips. She leant closer to give him more access. As he tried to kiss her on the lips, she playfully pushed him away. Though he was expecting this, he playacted anger and turned away. She leant closer to him and with her palm turned his face towards her and gave her best smile. He couldn’t help smiling back.
“Coochie –Cooooooo” , she said
Not knowing the appropriate response to this, he merely smiled more.
“I looooove uuu” , she said crooningly…..
He very well knew the appropriate reply to this and he replied even more crooningly
“hmmmmmm….”
“Ok Ok now the movie is about to begin ..” she said .
“Yeah” , he said …
He had spent 500 rs for the tickets and the popcorn. He might as well watch this.
(“I looooove popcorn” , she had crooned earlier , in much the same tones as she had just proclaimed her love for him . And his reply was always appropriate .. “Hmmmmmmm”)
They were happy. He had proposed to her a month back. She had agreed. “Yeeeeeesssss” , she had crooned. He had met her parents. They had liked him. They were about to be married in another month’s time.
She crooned a lot. He tolerated it. She looooved popcorn. He didn’t mind buying it. And they both liked movies.
And they were very very happy.
As the titles were rolling out ,she snuggled very close to him and fed him popcorn.
The movie began.
It was not going very well.
In fact it was bad.
It was , truth be told, horrible.
As a matter of fact , it had achieved sublimity in being intolerable.
And it was the perfect opportunity for him to show off.
It was his chance to showcase his sense of humor and bolster her confidence in the choice of her mate.
And he was feeling particularly confident that evening.
“ What the hell …” , he ventured.
She looked up at him, smiled , made soothing noises and fed him popcorn.
He was very encouraged by this.
“Why the hell did we have to come to this movie” , he said in an exaggeratedly mocking fashion.
She smiled more and fed him more popcorn. This was like a direct intravenous dose of adrenalin for him.
“ This is what happens when we listen to your ideas” , he said with a chuckle , riding an ever rising wave of confidence.
“My ideaaaa????” , she crooned. Her hand , which was about to feed him popcorn stopped in midair.
Normally under different circumstances , he would have changed the topic , but he was feeling particularly confident or suicidal , whichever way you look at it.

He said , “then what???…just like all your ideas” ….he chuckled more.
To be fair to him , he thought this was genuinely funny and what’s more ,passionately believed in what he said.

“And what are my other ideas that you don’t find good?” she asked extremely sweetly and with a killer smile on her face.
Under normal circumstances, he would have recognized these signs and retreated , but as we already said, he was feeling particularly confident or suicidal , whichever way you look at it.
“Oh that’s easy” , he said .
He wasn’t particularly observant of the fact that her smile was getting sweeter by the minute and that she had stopped feeding him popcorn.
“Like the time when you had brought that silly flaming red top of yours” , he said
Again he wasn’t very observant or considerate of the fact that , that’s what she was wearing right then and that it was her favorite.
“Oh you don’t like it???” , she asked in the sweetest of voices.
Under any other circumstances , he would have construed this as a signal to parachute out off the nose diving aircraft but as we already said he was feeling particularly confident or suicidal , whichever way you look at it.
“Are you kidding ??? It makes you look fat ,……… as if you need it” ….he said chuckling out loud now.
Her smile was at it’s sweetest now. And she was eating the popcorn herself.
Under normal circumstances , he would have unconditionally surrendered at this sign , but as we already said he was feeling particularly confident or suicidal , whichever way you look at it.
“Well not your fault ….you look like your mom” ….he was slowly and dangerously surely getting lost in his own world now and laughed out loud.
“Don’t disturb the others”, she said in a honey dipped voice.
Under normal circumstances , he would have correctly understood this as “SHUT UP” , but as we already said he was feeling particularly confident or suicidal , whichever way you look at it.
“Disturb the others ???”, he said , “as if you don’t do it with your crooning all the time” …he was laughing louder now.
She had stopped eating the popcorn. And she looooved popcorn.
“You are very funny” , she said sweetly , “ you can see humor in the most trivial of things and make them sound sooo funny”
Under normal circumstances , this would have been like a splash of icy cold water on a December morning for him , but as we already said he was feeling particularly confident or suicidal , whichever way you look at it.
“Remember when we were in that restaurant and you had ….” ,he started.
It went on
It continued till the movie was over. He joked and he joked well . He was genuinely funny. He talked about her dresses , her crooning , the way she talked and not least of all her family.
And her smile kept getting sweeter and her voice dipped in honey twice and thrice over.
Under normal circumastances he would have noticed that she had stopped snuggling , wasn’t feeding him popcorn and worse still wasn’t eating any herself. But as we already said he was feeling particularly confident or suicidal , whichever way you look at it.
He genuinely thought he was being funny.
He thought he was saving the evening.
He thought he was entertaining her.
And he continued doing so.
The movie ended. He was in particularly high spirits.
He thought he had impressed her enough.
She was smiling and most importantly she said she found him funny.
He thought the evening went very well.
And all the more reason why he could not understand why she broke up with him the next day.