END GAME

It is ending, finally. Around 22 months of IIM-K will come to an end for all practical purposes by the end of February. I can’t help wondering, “Has it been really that long?” .Amazing how time passes you by, without your ever noticing it.


I still remember the first time I came here. It was raining heavily and it was a bandh that day. No vehicles were plying. There were a bunch of us newcomers , standing outside the railway station. They were all talking about rock music, NBA , football and God knows what. Things I had absolutely no idea about. (and I still don’t . I am pretty lazy that way).

Then I remember my first class. Prof .Sarkar’s Micro Economics. In Branding , they teach you that there is the actual physical experience of using the product or service and then there are your emotional associations, and that the latter last longer. How very true. I cant remember what Prof Sarkar taught that day , but I remember my emotional state. I was very, very scared. I remember the twinge of envy I felt when someone gave a very quick answer to the very first question Prof.Sarkar asked. (I really wish that envy had lasted longer. My grades certainly would have been better if it had , rather being at the rock bottom as they currently are) .

I still remember the feelings of inferiority and inadequacy that overwhelmed me when I used to talk to and meet people. Everyone seemed to be so superhuman. It was as though I was picked up from a village and thrown into a huge city peopled by those who had plans to convert it into a metropolitan. I had , in fact, for all practical purposes , come from a village . I was born and brought up in a small town , did my graduation from a smaller town . I was used to being the best guy around . I was the first one in 18 years to get a call from an IIM from my college , and I guess that it was the first time I saw real super talent around me. (I might sound a little arrogant , but honestly that was the way I felt) .

Anyways , I was scared, confused and overwhelmed. I had absolutely no idea what was going on. Ironically enough , the two years that I thought would be my most successful and most productive , have been the least of both. I am not sure why , but I guess it was because that was the first time in my life that I was overwhelmed beyond description. And could not shake it off for a long time. Then I got plain lazy. (At various times I have been called “the sloth” , “laziest guy on campus” . My favorite is what a close friend said about me “Cats atleast lick themselves clean, that’s more than I can say for him”) . I have achieved absolutely nothing. But I will not trade these years for anything else. I cherish them for other reasons. For the experiences, the friends I picked up and for what it taught me about life.


For a long time now , I could not wait to get out. But now ,when I realize it’s actually ending, I am not so sure. I always wanted to get out as soon as possible and start working (you know, when you are not doing well , you start thinking about the future ). I still do , but I surprise myself by feeling sad about it once in while.
Another of my friends is getting married after graduation. (He says it’s a long way off, but it is in August . Tells you a lot about his desperation to get married). All he can talk about is how rents are impossibly high in Bangalore and how the government ruthlessly taxes it’s most productive citizens and how this is coming in his way of buying a four wheeler as soon as he is married. I am happy for him, but I cant help getting depressed listening to all that and that I have to start my own life, all on my own . All my friends , being older than me and having worked before , give me these looks of sympathy , whenever I talk happily about starting to finally work. Honestly , they are freaking me out.

My conversations with the above friend in question previously consisted primarily of trading mindless jokes, making weird faces and generally being as retarded as we could be . Now he congratulates me on being conveniently single. “Your first priority now can be a car man , instead of a house. Look at me . You are lucky that way”


When this starts to happen , that’s when it hits you , like a ton of bricks . Its ending , finally.